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06/07/2004: "Expectation in Relationship"

In our Closer to Home workshop this weekend, that William and I facilitated, the dreaded happened: I got "triggered" by a situation that came up.

Then I remembered: only I can re-open my heart. I can choose to feel love. Love for me. I know what my intention was. I know that I was doing my best. Breathe. Open. Breathe. Open. Slowly, slowly my heart started emerging again. I continued through the exercises of connection we had planned and recieved support from others in silent connection, just allowing me to be. Allowing me to be closed, or open, or in between, if that was where I was. Their open acceptance allowed compassion to show up. First as love for me being who I was. Then as love for those allowing me to be. Then as love for my partner's wounded little boy that was feeling exactly the same as my wounded little girl. His defensiveness had dissipated in the act of stating his truth and mine was struggling to be freed in the silent space it was hiding. I got to be in it, talk about it, cry about it and release it in the course of the day. The group energy we had created assisted me greatly in moving through my process and I felt safe and held by all there.

I saw the perfection in choosing a partner that will not pretend to be my saviour when, in fact, I don't need one. No matter how much I think that him showing up in a certain way will rebalance me, it is only me that can do that for myself. Had he shown up as that saviour, I would not have had the opportunity to experience the healing of my heart that occured from within me.

I am grateful for those who showed up this weekend and shared their intimate experiences and supported each other in exploring the truth around them. I truly believe we are changing the world.

Namaste, Lynn